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Boundary Rider

 In life it is important to understand boundaries and how to be a boundary rider. In my experience there are three ways to look at boundaries: one, personal boundaries; two, attitude boundaries; and three, social boundaries. The key to all three types is to know when to set boundaries and when to push the boundaries. 

It is important to understand your personal boundaries. For me, this means understanding what you will and won't let other people do to you. It is an individual choice that each person must make. As part of personal boundaries you must also decide your own moral choices that you yourself will not cross. Once you have made these decisions you have the right to protect them and be aware that in democratic countries these rights are legally protected, no matter your age, race, or gender. 

The second type of boundaries are attitude boundaries. When I say this I am referring to negative attitudes and voices in our own heads. These are the most difficult boundaries to break down. It is important to know that no matter what the voice inside is telling you, you can do anything. There have been days in my life where the voice inside my head told me, 'You're disabled, you can't do this. Even getting out of bed is too painful so don't try.' This type of boundary creates an invisible forcefield that can feel unbreakable but it can be broken through the power of our choices. We can choose to stay in the negative forcefield or choose the positive path. Now I know that sounds simple and it is but that doesn't mean it is easy. However my life so far is living proof it can be done. There were times in my life I wanted to quit school, wanted my disability to go away, and just wanted the world to leave me alone. 

Now I live life my way. I have pushed past the negative boundaries that I put on myself and when they come back, I will do it again and again because the best thing to happen to me was almost dying at sixteen. This forced me to realise the boundaries we create only stop us from achieving amazing things. My dad taught me my disability is going to make things tough but it doesn't matter how unusual my approach to living looks; what matters is I am able to achieve what needs to be done. 

Finally there are social boundaries. These are the boundaries that other people around you try to put on you. All my life the world outside my family has tried to tell me what I can and can't do. They have told me that I can't succeed as an actor because the entertainment world is not accessible enough, that I won't succeed as a writer because I focus too much on disability stories, and it would be better if I didn't work and just collected my disability pension. I never give up. I drove through each one of these boundaries. I started on stage playing a character called Wheelie Boy through to a character that takes charge of the NDIS. I have won awards for my poetry based on empowering people with disability and when people wouldn't hire me I started my own public speaking business. The lesson I want you to take away from all of this is when a boundary is in your way become a boundary rider and look for gaps and opportunities to slip in and achieve what you want to achieve. 



Boundary Rider


In life it is important to learn how to ride a boundary;

It can be the difference between remaining trapped or living free.

You must know when a boundary has to be set and when to push past;

Life is unpredictable so you have to be able to choose fast.


Personal boundaries create a safe zone that is all your own

But beware the negative forcefield that is the voice of dread inside your own head

Because it can block the powerful truth that needs to be revealed.

Negativity can always be turned to it's opposite by joining the right dots or the flip of a coin. 


Other people like to create arbitrary lines to keep you in specific confines,

Like your disability should keep you poor so don't even try to be an actor.

Never give up. Be a boundary rider. 

Look for a gap in the fence and test the world's resistance.


Chris Van Ingen | 28 February 2022

 

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