Devalued Mental Health

 Every September I go through a period of reflection. For some reason it is the month where all my triggers come together and I am confronted with the demons of my mental health. 

With the COVID-19 pandemic I have joined the millions of Australians in undergoing the shadow pandemic of anxiety and depression. 

The Victorian Government Royal Commission into mental health has highlighted all too glaringly how the people in power have neglected the mental health sector. 

The Victorian Government promise to implement all recommendations from the Royal Commission will cost billions upon billions of dollars just to try and create a level playing field. 

At least the Andrew's Labor Government is willing to take ownership of the problem; unlike the Commonwealth Government who is only willing to allocate a token 2 billion dollars for mental health due to pressure applied by the community in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

In my lifetime I have benefited from several programs designed to help with mental health that were then lost because of government funding cuts, both federal and state. 

I urge everyone to remember that research indicates one in three people will experience a mental health episode in their life. 

People do not think twice about my disability and yet when I admit to struggling with anxiety and depression they are shocked. 

I am used to being devalued because of my disability but it is time the world stops devaluing mental health. 

Devalued

Every day the positive and negative sides of my mind engage in an unrelenting feud;

Sometimes it’s hard to control my mood when anxiety and depression leaves my self esteem devalued. 

My physical disability follows me around like a jacket of high visibility 

But nothing attacks with such stealth like the negative words that erode my mental health.  

It’s a cliche to say that depression turns my world black 

But that’s exactly what happens to my vision amidst an anxiety attack.

Sometimes I cannot escape my snakes and ladders mind 

Or cannot look past doing hard time in the prison at that the bottom of a hill that I cannot climb  

I’m always ready for the fight when my mood is at its height.

Other times I feel like I am nothing except a worm, a burden to be sanitised away like a germ  

It is important to not get wrapped up in self hate and remember that anxiety and depression is just part of my family fate. 

Mental health is something that constantly needs to be reviewed; I cannot let disability, anxiety, and depression leave me devalued. 

Chris Van Ingen | 29 September 2021